I recognize now that my heart was simply dry... longing for water, something to soak in. And just as dry ground soaks up quickly only to dry just as fast- so goes teh heart that takes one large guld rather than slow life giving sips.
The invitiation remains; come all who are thirsty...
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Me vs ....
Just when you think you have it together something jarrs you and reminds you of your weakness, your past, your failures. I am on this quest to be God inspired rather than man inspired. To live life to please God and not others. and its hareder than one would think, especially when the temptation to do for self rises to the surface.
History
I just finished reading the Book of Negroes by Lawerence Hill. Sad to say it took me months to finish. I would read a section and become engrossed and then become tired of the words, the emotion, the story- could there not be good news? But now that I have finished, somehow I am nourished by the words of fiction intermixed with the truth of history. It was the fiction that kept me going, but it was the facts that fascinated me. The reminded me that the story of injustice is not one that happened thousands, hundreds or even tens of years ago, but injustice happens each day. Without the truth of history we will repeat the offenses of the past, even with the truth of history we repeat versions of our past sins.
Somewhere in the book it spoke about how the slave trade was eradicating the barbarity of Africa- bringing Christianity to the heathens. I remember hearing that growing up- reading it in these fundamentalist text books. What an interesting notion that God needed slavery to demonstrate himself to an entire continent. Interesting, but hard to swallow.
Injustice is the one thing that makes my skin crawl
Somewhere in the book it spoke about how the slave trade was eradicating the barbarity of Africa- bringing Christianity to the heathens. I remember hearing that growing up- reading it in these fundamentalist text books. What an interesting notion that God needed slavery to demonstrate himself to an entire continent. Interesting, but hard to swallow.
Injustice is the one thing that makes my skin crawl
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
in the midst of exile
I am listening to the words of God spoken by the prophet Jeremiah. As I hear the words and read them I am amazed by the depth of love that God has always had for His people. He speaks like a husband scorned over and over and over again. A man broken, yet longing for reconcilliation. Disappointed and hopeful all at once. They respond with sarcasm, apathy and scorn. He calls to them, he offers them a second chance, he just wants to right the relationship. And He is willing to do whatever it takes to get their attention. And then there is exile. God takes them into exile, but not solely out of punishment, but there is this undertone or longing- Love me, return to me, seek me, I want you back...
It is exile and so it is dark and messy and frightening, they have never been so far from God before. He was always their back up. He was always in the corner fighting for them. And although they chose to ignore him he somehow always loved them.
Exile is not plan A- their destruction is not his desire, but somehow it seems to be the desire of the people. They have rejected the warnings. They have ignored the pleas. They have declined the invitations.
God looks and looks for a righteous man. He seeks for a people who have acknowledged their faults. He wants to redeem them. But they dont want to be redeemed. He wants them back, but they have found comfort in the arms of another.
As I hear the words of the book of Jeremiah, I hear this anguis that stems from the heart of one who loves too deeply and yet I see what the people see- death, abandomnet, darkness, despair. They dont see love, longing and desire.
As I read Jeremiah I am left with this reflective thought- is God dead or is it just me?
And I am reminded that most times it is just me.
I am Israel,faithless. I am Judah, unfaithful.
Is God dead or is it just me?
Is God dead? Or have we allowed the parts of us that come alive in God to die. Is God dead? Or have we so separated joy from worship that we find ourselves in the midst of darkness? Is God dead? Or have we simply forgotten where he resides? Is God dead? Or is it that we can no longer here the beating of his heart? Is God dead or is it just me? Is God dead or is it just us?
Is God dead or have we died? IS God dead or have we forgotten where to find life?
Ezekiel gives a beautiful picture of the God repairing dry bones and bringing them back to life, with tendons, flesh and skin- but there is still something missing. These bodies look alive, but are not living. They seem to have everythign they need to move adn breathe except breath itself. They are missing just one things. The Spirit. And itis the breath of God that turns dead things to life. It is His Spirit blowing deep into the souls of the lifeless bodies that turns them from carcasses to an army.
The Spirit is life, perhaps that is what we are actually missing. Perhaps we have exchanged the breath of life for iron lungs. Perhaps we have given up on the water of life in exchange for broken, faulty and dirty cisterns. Perhaps life is possible if only we will exchange our comfort, our ideals, our culture, our nature- everything in exchange for what is actually everything. Perhaps its time to turn in death in exchange for life.
In Jeremiah death was everywhere, destruction was all around them, and all that they knew was taken and yet even in the midst of exile- God was not dead, just begging them, pleading wiht them and prodding at them to come to life.
It is exile and so it is dark and messy and frightening, they have never been so far from God before. He was always their back up. He was always in the corner fighting for them. And although they chose to ignore him he somehow always loved them.
Exile is not plan A- their destruction is not his desire, but somehow it seems to be the desire of the people. They have rejected the warnings. They have ignored the pleas. They have declined the invitations.
God looks and looks for a righteous man. He seeks for a people who have acknowledged their faults. He wants to redeem them. But they dont want to be redeemed. He wants them back, but they have found comfort in the arms of another.
As I hear the words of the book of Jeremiah, I hear this anguis that stems from the heart of one who loves too deeply and yet I see what the people see- death, abandomnet, darkness, despair. They dont see love, longing and desire.
As I read Jeremiah I am left with this reflective thought- is God dead or is it just me?
And I am reminded that most times it is just me.
I am Israel,faithless. I am Judah, unfaithful.
Is God dead or is it just me?
Is God dead? Or have we allowed the parts of us that come alive in God to die. Is God dead? Or have we so separated joy from worship that we find ourselves in the midst of darkness? Is God dead? Or have we simply forgotten where he resides? Is God dead? Or is it that we can no longer here the beating of his heart? Is God dead or is it just me? Is God dead or is it just us?
Is God dead or have we died? IS God dead or have we forgotten where to find life?
Ezekiel gives a beautiful picture of the God repairing dry bones and bringing them back to life, with tendons, flesh and skin- but there is still something missing. These bodies look alive, but are not living. They seem to have everythign they need to move adn breathe except breath itself. They are missing just one things. The Spirit. And itis the breath of God that turns dead things to life. It is His Spirit blowing deep into the souls of the lifeless bodies that turns them from carcasses to an army.
The Spirit is life, perhaps that is what we are actually missing. Perhaps we have exchanged the breath of life for iron lungs. Perhaps we have given up on the water of life in exchange for broken, faulty and dirty cisterns. Perhaps life is possible if only we will exchange our comfort, our ideals, our culture, our nature- everything in exchange for what is actually everything. Perhaps its time to turn in death in exchange for life.
In Jeremiah death was everywhere, destruction was all around them, and all that they knew was taken and yet even in the midst of exile- God was not dead, just begging them, pleading wiht them and prodding at them to come to life.
Friday, February 18, 2011
waiting
Waiting and Praying, waiting and praying, waiting and praying and then frustrated. I'm trying to hear what God is saying about so many things- yet I find myself sinking into frustration rather than rising to praise and prayer etcetcetc but right now those words and phrases seem obnoxious and pointless. It's funny how when I am not waiting for God to act and when I am not looking for God to intervene I am quite content to spout off regarding the joys of endurance. Somehow in the middle of the waiting when it seems God's refusal to respond is defeaning- waiting is not so fun. In fact waiting becomes a tool of torture rather than and aspect of joy, perseverance breeds pressure, and the peace that passes all understanding seems to have been replaced with anxiety.
So what am I missing?
My mind keeps referring back to the phrase:"Where is your faith?" from Luke 8. As the disciples announced to Jesus that the waves were crashing in and the wind was rising- they were certain they were going to die that this was the end- but in a moment, with a calm voice and a word from the creator of the water and the wind everything becomes silent. It goes from chaos to calm and the only thing that made the difference was Jesus.
So what am I missing?
My mind keeps referring back to the phrase:"Where is your faith?" from Luke 8. As the disciples announced to Jesus that the waves were crashing in and the wind was rising- they were certain they were going to die that this was the end- but in a moment, with a calm voice and a word from the creator of the water and the wind everything becomes silent. It goes from chaos to calm and the only thing that made the difference was Jesus.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
nameless news shows
I pull into my driveway and hear a casual statement that they are going to discuss the panhandling problem in Saskatoon. I am always interested in such discussions and expect to hear a balanced view- rather I hear this nameless news man spout his thoughless opinions.(Yikes, I may be about to do the same!) Of course I recognize that is the joy of freedom of speech and the nature of editorials- but really? Is it necessary to describe panhandlers as those who cannot remember the last time they had a bath? He goes on of course to state that panhandling should be illegal and that we uphold the rights of one instead of the rights for greater society. While in some cases i agree, this is not one of them.
I know we dont like to be bothered to give out change to the down and outer on 22nd. We complain that 'those people' dont get jobs and dont get off the street. We say that panhandling etc is a detriment to our downtown. We are scared of the homeless, the poor and yes we are even afraid of those who cannot remember the last time they had a bath. So what do we do about it? We tell city council to ban panhandling- because that is a reliable solution? ( please note my sarcasm)
So my question is if we abolish panhandling what are wiling to do? Are we willing to employ those who are employable? Are we willing to offer food and shelter to those who lack? Are we willing to provide grants for social agencies? Are we willing to open our homes, to take our time and to take a risk to ensure that panhandling is not needed?
If the city that I am a part of provides enough affordable housing, ensures their are enough shelters, provides enough good food for its most destitute citizen- then we can talk about eliminating panhandling.
In the meantime I'd just like to see my nameless news man offer up his home one night a week to help those dirty panhandlers keep clean- at least one of his complaints will be resolved and everyone will remember the last time they had a bath!
I know we dont like to be bothered to give out change to the down and outer on 22nd. We complain that 'those people' dont get jobs and dont get off the street. We say that panhandling etc is a detriment to our downtown. We are scared of the homeless, the poor and yes we are even afraid of those who cannot remember the last time they had a bath. So what do we do about it? We tell city council to ban panhandling- because that is a reliable solution? ( please note my sarcasm)
So my question is if we abolish panhandling what are wiling to do? Are we willing to employ those who are employable? Are we willing to offer food and shelter to those who lack? Are we willing to provide grants for social agencies? Are we willing to open our homes, to take our time and to take a risk to ensure that panhandling is not needed?
If the city that I am a part of provides enough affordable housing, ensures their are enough shelters, provides enough good food for its most destitute citizen- then we can talk about eliminating panhandling.
In the meantime I'd just like to see my nameless news man offer up his home one night a week to help those dirty panhandlers keep clean- at least one of his complaints will be resolved and everyone will remember the last time they had a bath!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Choose Life
Last week was hard for all kinds of reasons. As I sat in the middle of my own heart ache, in the midst of my fears and my brokenness I knew that I had to choose wisely whether to rise or fall. Half of me wanted desperately to drown in my sorrow, yet the still small voice that I have come to rely on whispered:choose life.
Throughout the week as I battled between justice and mercy, rights and wrongs, vindication and solace, anger and peace , and finally revenge or forgiveness I knew that I had to follow the path of life.
So, in the midst of the storm I turned from anger, bitterness and revenge and found something to hold on to: Jesus. He came in such quiet ways: A song, a verse, a word from a friend, a page from a book. His quiet footsteps in the midst of the storm were becoming louder and more visible than the crash of thunder or the height of the waves. He stood in the midst of it and brought suprising calm and peace.
Now, that which I thought I should fight to maintain, to hold on to and to constantly resuscitate is being quietly laid to rest and the life, the abundant and full life that was promised in its stead is being resurrected.
At the end of each day, and sometimes just at the end of each breath I whisper: To God be the glory; for where would I be if it had not been for His grace that kept me.
Embracing the promised life!
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Ps. 23
Throughout the week as I battled between justice and mercy, rights and wrongs, vindication and solace, anger and peace , and finally revenge or forgiveness I knew that I had to follow the path of life.
So, in the midst of the storm I turned from anger, bitterness and revenge and found something to hold on to: Jesus. He came in such quiet ways: A song, a verse, a word from a friend, a page from a book. His quiet footsteps in the midst of the storm were becoming louder and more visible than the crash of thunder or the height of the waves. He stood in the midst of it and brought suprising calm and peace.
Now, that which I thought I should fight to maintain, to hold on to and to constantly resuscitate is being quietly laid to rest and the life, the abundant and full life that was promised in its stead is being resurrected.
At the end of each day, and sometimes just at the end of each breath I whisper: To God be the glory; for where would I be if it had not been for His grace that kept me.
Embracing the promised life!
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Ps. 23
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